Where I Am Right Now

I started running again yesterday. I have run two days in a row. Just 4 miles each day. Running makes me feel better. It even helps me deal with my kids more productively. I will continue to run, even after the bitter disappointment of the marathon. I don't exactly have a plan right now. But, I know that I am going to run in a Thanksgiving Day 6 mile race. I know that I want to spend some time on the weekends running on the trails during this, my favorite time of the year. And so I begin again.

A week out now from the marathon, I am able to have a better perspective on the experience. Especially, after talking to others and reading some race reports, I realized that it was just another bad day. And in some ways, my body shutting down like that was a blessing, because it did for me, what I probably would not have done on my own; stop. On my own I probably would have carried on torturing myself and still not getting the goal I wanted.

So, yeah, I am still disappointed, but it is a whole lot easier to get a handle on now. I would love to say that I would just jump into another one in the next month or two and get that Boston time. I am still in good enough shape, physically. But, as much as my perspective has changed, mentally, I don't think I can right now. My heart and my head are just not into the distance right now.

Running has given me so much through the years. And I have been at this a long time. Really, I already have two Boston qualifying times from my first two marathons 10 and 8 years ago. Plus, I have all the other accolades and positive experiences from years of cross country and track. A trip to Boston to run the famed marathon would have been awesome and maybe one day I still will. I still have time. But, for right now, I gave it my all two years in a row and it is time for other goals.

One of the cool things we are doing this summer is taking our two older kids on a 4 day backpacking trip in the sierras. I haven't backpacked since I was a teen and I can't wait. I would also love to introduce Dash and maybe even Jack Jack to running in some local road races. And there are a lot of local road races I can jump into and maybe work on some of my long lost speed again.

Never say, never on the marathon. But, this is just where I am right now.